Hotel Madness
by JackThePony
Summary: Hi! This is my first fan fiction story so don't judge me . This is about the BAU team having to share one hotel room all together. What happens? Chaos. There's going to be more chapters to this story since you guys liked it so much! Thanks for the reviews, I've loved reading them.
1. Typical Family

**Hotel Madness**

JACK THE PONY HERE! This is my first fanfiction story, ever. This is about the Criminal Minds characters (who I unfortunately do not own...) having to share one hotel room. Get ready for the chaos!

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"Hurry UP!" Morgan yelled at J.J. through the walls that separated the bedroom from the bathroom and pounded on the door. The team had to share a hotel room, thanks to a misunderstanding when they tried to book the room a couple of days ago. Now Morgan, Reid, Hotch, Rossi, Emily, and J.J. were now stuck in one room with one bathroom and three beds. There was no reply to Morgan's shout.

"Maybe she drowned..." Emily yawned. She was currently stretched out on one of the beds lazily while looking at a case file. Morgan took this into consideration.

"Did you drown?" Morgan asked hopefully as he knocked again on the door.

"I stayed quiet, hoping, just hoping, that you would just go away. But I guess that didn't happen." J.J. called out from the bathroom.

"So I guess I take it that she didn't drown?" Hotch said with a chuckle.

"Unfortunately." Rossi snickered and with that, J.J. stormed out of the bathroom. She grabbed a pillow and whacked him with such a force that he was knocked off the bed that he was currently sitting on. He landed on the floor with a loud thud.

"I heard that." J.J. huffed and walked back in the bathroom.

"You okay, Dave?" Reid asked once J.J. had closed the door.

"That's going to leave a mark." Morgan laughed as the older man struggled to get up off of the floor.

"I'm reminding you that I keep something under my pillow that's loaded with bullets." Rossi threatened as he flopped back on the bed and grimace as his side throbbed. The grimace turned into a heated glare as he heard the team trying not to burst out laughing.

Morgan turned back to the closed door. "Come ON J.J.!" He banged on it some more.

"You just want look at yourself in the mirror." Emily snickered from the bed and frowned as a book hit her in the face.

"What if I do?" Morgan retorted back and kept banging on the door. J.J. finally opened the door and came out. She walked over to sit beside Emily.

"Jeez, I hardly spent any time in there." J.J. sulked.

"You spent an hour in there doing who knows what." Hotch rolled his eyes.

"And by the way J.J., thank you so very much for the big ass bruise I'm going to get when I wake up tomorrow." Dave glared at the blonde woman across the room.

"You kind of had it coming, Dave." Reid grinned.

"Shut up, I didn't ask for your opinion."

"Yeah JayJe, you assaulted an old man. What kind of a person would assault an OLD dude?" Morgan watched with glee as Dave started to turn red.

"I'm NOT that old!"

"You're twenty years or more than everyone on this team. I qualify that as old." Morgan replied as Dave burned holes through his face.

"I'm hungry. Where's the food?" Reid broke the tension.

"I don't know, check the fridge that's right in front of you." It was J.J.'s turn to roll her eyes. "You're very observant."

"Thanks." Reid stuck his tongue out at J.J. and reached in the fridge to grab a couple of sandwiches and drinks.

"We still need to make sleeping arrangements." Emily stated as she finished off her file.

"I guess, since there are three beds, Morgan and Reid in one, Dave and J.J. in the other, and Emily and I in the last one." Hotch gave out the orders.

"No! I refuse to sleep beside the lady who almost severely injured me!" Dave yelled.

"The feeling's mutual." J.J. grumbled.

"Just do it." Hotch gave his infamous glare to his subordinates.

"REID! Let's switch!" J.J. ordered Reid as he stood awkwardly next to Morgan.

"Okay?" Reid replied and walked over to Dave's bed and reached under the bed to retrieve his pajamas.

"Kid, if you disturb me in any way during my beauty sleep...let's just say that revenge is a bitch." Dave started to undress.

"Grandpa! Not when the girls are still in the room!" Emily squealed and ran into the bathroom with J.J. hot on her heels.

"Immature women." Dave rolled his eyes and took off his shirt anyways. The guys and the girls started to change into their sleepwear, and crawled under the covers.

"Touch me and you're dead." Emily turned to face Hotch.

"Wouldn't think about it." They left a space between them as they turned away from each other.

"Same goes for you, Morgan." J.J. warned as he grinned impishly.

"Yeah, I know." Morgan and J.J. turned away from each other like Hotch and Emily did.

"Good night." Spencer whispered.

**A Couple Hours Later...**

Hotch was sleeping peacefully but was jerked awake by someone rolling into his chest. Emily's head nestled into the crook of his neck and he sighed contently. He automatically put his arms around her but paused. He saw Dave frantically wave at him with his cell phone. Words were typed on the screen and Hotch had to squint to see what it read. Hotch chuckled went he finally made out what it said. 'Emily: Touch me and you're dead.'. Hotch immediately put his tucked his hands behind his back, uncomfortable but better than Emily killing him. Dave motioned for him to roll Emily back. Hotch awkwardly tried to roll her back, but pushed her a bit too hard and she fell onto the floor. Dave flinched and pretended to be asleep. Hotch panicked but copied Dave, turning with his back facing her side of the bed, and breathed deeply, like if he was sleeping. He heard Emily grumble as she got back on to the bed drowsily. Hotch sighed with relief as she went back to sleep.

* * *

JACK THE PONY here again!

I hoped you liked my first story, the first draft was actually written on my iPod.

Please rate and comment, I love to hear your opinions.

That's all for now,

Ciao!


	2. GET OUT, DAVE!

JACK THE PONY here AGAIN! Thanks to the reviews I've gotten, I'm going to add more chapters to this story. Thank you so much, once again, for the positive comments! I hope you enjoy the next bit, talk to you later!

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"Dave?" Emily yelled over the sound of water running and knocked on her bathroom door. Thankfully, this time, there had been no problem with booking rooms. Hotch and Dave were in one, Emily and J.J. in another, and Morgan and Reid in the last one. A few moments ago, J.J. had informed Emily that Dave was currently in taking a shower in their room.

"Yes?" Dave sang and the sound of water stopped.

"Get the hell out of my room."

"I'm not even finished with my hair!" Dave said, Emily could just picture him smirking right now. Emily was just gone from the room for two minutes to get some extra towels from Morgan's room, she reminded herself to never let J.J. be in a room by herself or else she's going to invite the whole nation in to take a shower.

"Why are you even in here?" Emily asked, hands on her hips.

"Because, dearest Emily, Aaron's in our bathroom, and Reid in theirs. That left me with your room, and no one was using yours, so I took the opportunity. And besides, you should learn how to share."

"Get the hell out...or...or...I'm going to tell Hotch!" Emily shouted angrily and started to head out of the room.

"Ooh, I'm so scared of Aaron." Dave laughed as he heard the door slam. Emily stormed down the hall to Hotch's room. She grasped the doorknob in her hand and turned.

"Huh." Emily was surprised. It wasn't like Hotch to leave his door open like that. Well, Dave WAS the last out who went out... Emily rolled her eyes. Then she took a look at the room. She gasped; Cheeto bags were scattered all over the room with a big wine bottle sitting in the middle of the table. It wasn't like Hotch to leave the room like this...yet again...Dave currently lived here too. Remembering why she had come, she stormed into the nearest room she could find. It happened to be the bathroom, and what she found in there wasn't a very pleasing sight. What she happened to stumble upon was a butt-naked Hotch. As quickly as she had entered the room, she had exited, blushing furiously.

"Emily?" Moments later, Hotch emerged from the bathroom, thankfully with a towel covering him. He too was blushing.

"Ahh...hi." Emily said awkwardly as she looked away.

"Why are you here?" Hotch asked with concern. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no. Dave is just acting like Dave..." Emily stammered.

"Is that why you're here? To tell me something I already know?" Hotch smiled a rare smile.

"Well, no. He's...in my room, in my bathroom to be exact."

"Oh...he told me he was going somewhere..." Hotch said and chuckled when he saw Emily turn to glare at him. "Alright, alright. I'll go get him out." Emily sighed contently. "But first..." Emily looked up, confusion in her eyes. "Can I put on some clothes?" Hotch laughed quietly as he saw Emily look down, suddenly very interested with her shoes.

"Yeah, I guess." Emily mumbled and mentally face palmed herself. She had just given permission for her Unit Chief to put on some clothes. He gave her a quick look and she turned away. She saw his suit, which was strewn on the couch. She picked it up and flung it behind her. Emily heard it land with a thud and the scratch of it being picked up.

"You can turn around now." Hotch said with amusement in his tone. Emily slowly turned around and gave him a quick look-over. His dress shirt was on, but not tucked in like he usually wore it. His hair was still dripping with water; droplets splashed on his dress shirt creating dark spots. She walked over to the counter and grabbed paper towels and threw them at his direction. He caught it with ease and tore off a sheet and ran it through his hair, making it stick up wildly. He tossed the wet sheet into the trash bin near the door. Hotch opened the door politely so Emily could step through it and picked up his key card. He closed the door quickly and walked a little faster than his regular pace just to catch up with Emily. They walked silently towards her and J.J.'s room; anger rolling off of her body.

"He's in there." Emily said once they were inside. She pointed with a firm finger towards the door.

"Aaron! Come stai, mio buon amico? (Aaron! How are you, my good friend?)" Dave called happily from the bathroom. Emily stood with her hands crossed over her chest as Hotch walked towards the door.

"Dave, get out. I'm done with our washroom, you can use it."

Dave walked out and smirked at Emily. "I'm already done. I was actually done fifteen minutes ago. I guess your time was wasted." He patted Hotch on the back and left the room happily whistling leaving Hotch confused, Emily seething, and J.J. reading a book comfortably in a chair.

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JACK THE PONY back! It didn't have such a great ending and it was pretty short, I know. Be sure to review, I always read your comments!


	3. Hotch The Babysitter

JACK THE PONY is BACK after a very long while because I was stumped. I had no idea what to write as a new story, or how to continue one of my older ones. BUT, now I have my brain energy working yet again to bring you another chapter of Hotel Madness!

*Clapping*

Thank you, thank you.

Speaking of thanking people, I would like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed this story and the number of followers and favorites. I'm doing this for you guys!

Being my annoying naggy self, I'm going to ask once again for you guys to please review (click on that sexy little yellow button below) so you can tell me what you think.

Also, please help me get some ideas for new stories! I have a couple of them written up in my iPod, but I have to get over my laziness and type them up. Comment below or shoot me a PM.

Thanks again guys, and to not delay you any further,

I present,

Hotel Madness Chapter Three!

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"Derek," Dave slurred and reached over to pat Morgan's face. "You are _**very**_ pretty."

"You are too, man." Morgan raised his bottle of beer.

The team was currently spread out in random areas in a hotel room after a long hard case. Everyone was buzzed, except Hotch. He was trying to keep a close eye on everyone so they wouldn't all do something they regret after they were sober.

_Oh hell, how did I get myself in this mess..._Hotch thought as he tapped his empty glass of scotch. He was very tempted to get drunk himself, so he didn't have to deal with all this. The team was hard enough to handle all at once when sober, picture how hard it would be to handle them when they were all tipsy.

Even _**Reid**_ had gotten himself drunk.

And he's _**Reid**_.

Hotch sighed.

Speaking of Reid...where the hell was he?

Hotch groaned and got up from his spot on the bed to go look for the younger agent.

Minutes later, Hotch had found Reid outside in the hallway.

Knocking on random other hotel doors.

"HELLOOOOO! MY NAME IS DOCTER SPENCER REID, HOW ARE YOOOOOOOOOU?"

"Reid!" Hotch yelled and ran quickly to collect him before someone actually answered their door. He dragged him inside their room and groaned. Emily was screaming outside the hotel window.

Hotch dropped Reid on the floor, where he was giggling like an idiot.

"DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY PANTIES?" Emily shrieked at people on the street while Garcia and J.J. stood behind her laughing.

"Emily. Get away from the window." Hotch demanded and stepped over Morgan to reach for her. He pulled her into his arms and deposited her on the bed. Emily grinned up at him and pulled him down with her. She planted a big kiss on his lips, and then pushed him off of her. Hotch stared at her and shook his head. They were all drunk. And there was nothing he could do about it. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Is Hotchy mad at me?" Emily pouted and stood up and immediately fell back on the bed.

"No. Just, please, go to sleep or something." Hotch rubbed his temples and walked away to check on the other team members. Suddenly, loud music filled the room and everyone got up to start drunkenly dancing.

_Oh __**GOD**__ no. Haven't I suffered enough?_

Garcia, J.J., and Emily started grinding on each other, leaving Reid, Morgan, and Dave to dance together as well.

"PARTY ALL DAY BITCHES!" J.J. screamed before throwing her hands up in the air.

_Hopefully they will get tired out after a while of dancing. _Hotch thought and sat in a chair to watch his agents.

* * *

Hotch had fallen asleep.

He woken up in a panic and fell out of his chair.

After he picked himself off the floor, he looked around and sighed in relief. His team were just collapsed on top of each other in exhaustion on the floor. He walked over and picked up Emily first, who was on top of the human pile. He gently placed her on the bed, smoothed her hair back, and kissed her forehead. He picked up J.J. next, and laid her next to Emily. He picked up Garcia and smiled as the girls snuggled together. He had more of a struggle trying to lift the men into the other bed, but managed. He grimaced as Reid rolled on top of Morgan's chest. Surprisingly, Morgan had put his arms around him and they cuddled. Hotch chuckled at the thought of them waking up in Morgan's arms.

Well, we'll just have to wait and see.

_**The next morning...**_

The team was woken up by a scream, followed by two more screams and a thud. Apparently, Morgan was first to wake up, letting out the first scream and pushing Reid off of him and onto Dave, which led to Reid waking up, who also screamed, waking up Dave, who shoved Reid onto the floor while screaming.

The team covered their ears and grimaced. Screaming loudly was not good for their morning hangover.

"I knew this would be funny." Hotch chuckled.

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JACK THE PONY here. I hope you enjoyed this little chapter, the next chapter will be out soon! All reviews are welcome.


	4. Movie Night

JACK THE PONY back to post a new chapter! Once again, I'll ask for some ideas, and don't worry, I'll cred you.

Thanks for all the reviews so far,

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

* * *

The team were snuggled together in Hotch and Emily's hotel room to watch a movie. This case involved children, which took a toll on the BAU members. So after they finished up the case and caught the UNSUB, they decided to relax and celebrate with a fun movie. Emily had found a movie on the TV, which was currently just starting.

Hotch and Emily were cuddling on the bed, Garcia's head was resting on Morgan's shoulder, Dave was sitting on the couch with his hands on the back of his head. J.J. had her head resting in Reid's lap with him sitting up, stroking her head. Morgan and Garcia took turns pelting poor Reid with popcorn.

"Oh my GOD! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! This is the old one with Gene Wilder, right?" J.J. asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I _**love**_ this version. I personally think this one is better than the remake with Johnny Depp." Emily grinned and turned up the volume.

_**A little while into the movie...**_

"What the FUCK are those?" Dave asked incredulously. He pointed to the screen where orange skinned men with green hair wobbled around singing a silly song.

"_Those_ are oompaloompas." Emily explained.

"Why look like that?"

"Ask Roald Dahl."

"Why do they pop out of random places?"

"Ask Roald Dahl."

"Roald Dahl's dead." Reid decided to join in the conversation. "Roald Dahl wrote 17 Children's Stories, 3 Children's Poetry Books, 9 Non-Fiction Books, 2 Adult Fiction Novels, and 19 Adult Fiction Short Story Collections. Dahl also wrote 1 Play, 6 Film Scripts, and wrote for 3 Television Series. Charlie-"

"Reid, what did I tell you about your comments?" Emily interrupted him and shot him a look.

"They weren't comments," Reid started to say and gulped from the heat of the glare Emily was giving him. "Okay, they _were_ comments, but I'd like to think of them as facts, because they _are _technically facts."

"Roald Dahl didn't write any Adult books." Morgan protested.

"I believe he did, just to remind you, I have an eidetic memory. I remember very clearly. If you still don't believe me, today is your lucky day, because I have a friend who happens to be a HUGE Roald Dahl fan..." Reid took out his phone. "He can inform you and prove you wrong."

Garcia leaned over and grabbed the phone out of his hand. She threw it across the room.

"No."

Reid jumped up and ran to his phone, which was somewhere behind the TV, causing J.J.'s head to fall back hard onto the ground.

"Spencer!"

"Sorry J.J.! GARCIA, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY PHONE!" Reid apologized and turned to Garcia angrily.

"Reid, if you look at it in my point of view, I was doing you a favor. That flip phone will do you no good in today's modern world of technology. I promise I'll buy you a good smart phone. Does an HTC sound good?"

Reid's nose wrinkled in confusion. "What's an HTC?"

Garcia sighed. This proves that Boy Genius isn't a genius at _everything._

"I know you guys are having a heart to heart over there, but I can't see the TV." Emily complained and waved her hand to shoo Reid away from the TV.

"True that." Dave burped from his place in the room. He was chugging his beer when all of a sudden, it was snatched away from him. "HEY!"

"Sorry Dave. I really don't want anyone to get drunk today. Especially of what happened last time." Hotch said while placing the bottle of beer on a nightstand far away from his friend.

"I wasn't that bad last time..." Dave muttered and sulked.

Hotch snorted. "You were ALL bad last time; I have the photos to prove it."

_*Flashback*_

_J.J. tried to laugh when Reid was pushed onto the ground, but it came out as a dry rasp and then followed by a coughing fit. She suddenly turned green and stumbled over her own feet to run to the washroom. This triggered Garcia's stomach contents to start coming back up, and since the washroom was currently occupied, she ran to the hotel window. The sound of splattering and screams were heard outside the window as Garcia threw up out of it. Reid got off the floor and joined Garcia in the beautiful art of synchronized retching. More screams and splattering were heard. A couple seconds later, the Retching Group had officially become a quartet, with Emily joining as the newest member as she emptied her stomach in a small recycling bin._

_Hotch didn't think throw up was recyclable._

_Hotch was surely going to get a call from the hotel manager. He grumpily stole a pillow from Emily's bed to put over his ears to block out the disgusting sounds coming from all different directions in the room. _

_As much as he tried, Hotch couldn't go back to sleep. Typical. Hotch removed the pillow which fell over his face, and noticed Dave and Morgan, who were the only ones besides himself that weren't participating in the ongoing barf fest like the rest of the team._

_Dave caught the look Hotch was giving him._

"_We've been wasted plenty of times before, Aaron. We're pretty much used to it. Don't get your panties in a bunch."_

_Hotch was about to give his own little retort, but his cell phone rang loudly. Moans filled the room. Cell phones ringing were also not good for a morning hangover. Hotch purposefully let his phone ring a little longer than necessary and smirked at the death glare he was receiving from Dave._

"_Hotchner."_

_*Flashback ends*_

"You took pictures?!" Emily shrieked and attempted to dig into Hotch's pocket for his phone.

"Sweetheart, if you want inside my pants, you have to ask." Hotch whispered and pulled her hand out of his pocket before she found his phone.

"Delete them, or you'll never be getting in _MY _pants ever again."

"But honey-"

"NO BUTS."

"Yeah, honey." Morgan mocked. Hotch threw a pillow at him.

"You'd be really stupid to turn down sex for the rest of your life for a couple of photos." Dave added.

Hotch grumbled and took out his phone to delete the photos.

"Hotch, I believe you're...what's the term? Whipped?" Reid commented as he aimlessly tried to put his phone back together.

Morgan laughed and high fived Reid.

More grumbling came from Hotch.

"What did you say, Aaron?" Emily asked innocently.

"I _said _that I can file a sexual harassment against you."

"How?"

Garcia jumped into the conversation. "Well kitten, technically your threat had a lot of sexualness, you know, because it revolved around having sex, _which _is a topic I do _not _want to explore any further."

Emily smirked. "Aaron is _incredible _in bed, I especially love his-"

Garcia cut her off with a squeal. She put her hands over her ears to tightly cover them. "LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Why did that chick inflate and turn into a purple ball with a head?" Dave stared wide eyed at the TV.

"She turned into a blueberry."

"Why?"

Emily sighed.

"Ask Roald Dahl."

"Like I stated before, Roald Dahl's dead."

"WE KNOW." The team yelled simultaneously.

"I swear to God, Dave, if you ask _one_ more stupid question about something as simple as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I will rip your balls out and feed them to the dolphins at Sea World when we take Jack there in a couple of weeks." Emily threatened.

"She's serious, you know." Hotch whispered to Dave.

Dave's hands moved over to cover his man parts protectively. He didn't say another word.

* * *

The movie ended with Dave confused as ever, which isn't a surprise.

"I should get a bed, I have a bad back." Dave said as he got up from his chair.

"We already have the bed. You can have that couch you were sitting in." Garcia yawned snuggled into Morgan's arms. Dave made a whining noise and Garcia gave him a look which clearly said that their conversation is over. Dave pouted and sank back into the couch.

Finally when everyone fell asleep, Hotch slipped out from under Emily. He paused as she stirred, and let out a relieved breath of air as she grunted and rolled over so her head was burrowed deep into the pillows. He slowly walked to the front of the room, which was only lit by two table lamps.

Hotch took out his phone and carefully took a picture. Even though the room was dark, you could make out the team's peaceful features.

_This photo will make up for all the other photos that Emily deleted._ He thought as he snuck back into bed.

He was just about to doze off when Emily whispered in his ear while patting his chest.

"Delete it."

He mentally face-palmed himself.

* * *

JACK THE PONY here to say thanks and to remind you again how awesome your reviews are and to keep them coming! Thank you to **Sapphiredark **for giving me the idea for the little pictures Hotch took, and **SSAEmilyPrentissCIA **for the little flashback idea. Thank you guys once again, feel free to give me some ideas in your comments, so hopefully I can push out more chapters!


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